Tuesday, June 2, 2009

The Good, the Bad, the Ugly (Restaurant Edition)


The Good

Five Guys Burgers and Fries - We fell in love with this Virginia-based chain when we lived in Maryland. Simple, stripped down menu. Sliced lemon for your diet Coke, vinegar for their superb, fresh cut fries (don't ever order the large fry if you're eating alone; we often split the "medium"), and solid hamburgers where you don't have to pay extra for the fixings. (Best way to order a burger is "all the way."). They don't freeze their meat and they start cooking it the minute you place your order. You can find an equivalent burger, but you'd be hard pressed to beat their fries.

Sawadee Thai - Great place for lunch near the Governor's mansion at about 750 East and South Temple in Salt Lake. For $7.50 you get your choice of two dishes (I almost always pick #7 (bbq pork) and #11 (Massaman curry)). Solid if not stellar Thai. Good, friendly service.

Red Iguana - No secret here as the place in invariably packed. Go off hours. A bit pricey for Mexican but deservedly so. Best Mexican around. A wide variety of great moles (no, not the subterranean rodent kind, those heavy chocolate infused smokey spicy sauces).

Setebello Pizza - Fresh salads and uber thin, wood fired pizzas with a bit of cheese and tasty toppings. Skip the gelato, though, as its expensive and disappoints (to my mind anyway).

Nielsen's Frozen Custard - For some, inexplicable reason the store in Provo never took off, but this Bountiful standby (which a few other branches around and about) serves the real deal, the pinnacle of ice-cream fabulousness: frozen custard. Can't go wrong with the straight chocolate though raspberry is great when they have it, same with the carmel cashew. Though no one orders them, they actually make a pretty good turkey and avocado grinder. I've never had bad avocado there, which says something.

The Bad
Oh, there are soooo many places that deserve to make the naughty list, but I'll single out a few of my perennial (least) favorites:

Chilies (or, as the sign reads: "Chijies") - Question: How do you feel when you leave? Answer (invariably): vaguely sick to my stomach. 'Nuff said. Only I can't stop there: Waitress: can I get a little more cheese on that or maybe a dollop of Crisco? This dish isn't quite greasy enough for me. Thanks.

Any Other Chain Restaurant That Looks Like Chilies including, but not limited to, Applebees (boo!), the Olive Garden (hiss!), and TGI Barfdays (retch!). If it looks like Chilies, chances are it tastes like Chilies.

Lame Steakhouses like Outback and Lonestar. I bet grilled armadillo tastes better than most of their steaks and the bloomin' onion type deals may taste good going down, but raise your hand (anyone? anyone?) if you don't feel just plain lousy after eating one. Salads straight from the bag and taste just that good.

DQ (and equivalents) - You call that ice cream?! Save your calories and spend them on chocolate custard instead. You'll thank me. I promise. It's like the difference between cheetos and cheesecake.

The Ugly
Hard to know quite what to do with this category, but maybe it's best reserved for restaurants that I shouldn't like, but somehow enjoy anyway:

Cheesecake Factory - A chain restaurant serving obscenely large portion sizes (Becky and usually split an appetizer, split and entree, and split a desert, and still struggle), but I gotta tell ya, their Thai Lettuce Wrap appetizer is da bomb. Also a fan of the Chicken Marsala and, alas, the Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake. At $7 a slice, their cheesecake is an absolute ripoff, and one waitress confided in us that a single piece of their "peanut butter pie cheesecake" (or some similar name) has 125o calories before adding the whipcream. Still, cheesecake is cheesecake, and that Godiva cheesecake is some serious stuff. About the most sinful food/beverage one can indulge in and still get a temple recommend. (Whether one should be able to get a temple recommend after eating a full slice of Godiva cheesecake is another question entirely ...)

Okay, so please weigh in with your own. I'm really just trying to get folks to cough up the good info. Reveal your fave hole-in-the-walls. Inquiring minds want to know.

Ed. note: this writer has no strong opinions about food. Ed note No. 2: if you don't want to drop $100 or more on a meal for two, $30-40 will buy you at least two filet mignons, asparagus, red potatoes, a pack of Martenelli's, and a pint of Haagen Daaz--and that's pretty tough to beat anywhere or at any price. Only downer is someone has to do the dishes. 1, 2, 3 ... Not it!!)

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