Quote Book for Kids

As parents, there are plenty of things we don't do or we get wrong. One thing we've done right is to keep a book of "kid quotes"--all the funny, insightful, and interesting things they say--a practice we started when our first child, Jordan, was about a year old. We keep the book in the living room where we can grab it quickly and jot something down before we forget.

The quote book has grown over the years, and continues to provide fodder for the Christmas newsletter as well as entertainment for the kids and a lot of great memories.

Since this is the stuff of newsletters, some of you may have heard these before, but here are some classic examples:

Jordan to Mommy (at age 3): "Do you love me all the time, even when you're mad at me? I love you all the time, even when I'm mad at you."

Jordan (age 3): "Does Jesus like that police officers have guns?"

Daddy (putting on a black stocking cap): "Do I look like a bank robber?!" Sarah (age 3 and looking a little scared): "Bank robbers are nice to their kids, and they love their kids, and they catch butterflies, and put 'em in their nest."

Sarah (age 3), a "Little Mermaid" fan, explaining why she suddenly had to get out of the bath: "Because Ursula turned me into a human."

After Jordan (age 5) temporarily traded four of his toys for four of his friend's Pokemon cards, the cards found their way into his pants pocket and, ultimately, the wahsh. When we told Jordan he would need to use his allowance money to buy new, replacement cards, he said, "Let's just flatten them out and tell him not to worry about it."

Sarah (age 3), trying to get around our newly instituted rules that kids can't watch T.V. until their beds are made: "I maked my bed the way I wanted it."

One night I handed Sarah a sippy cup with only a little bit of old water in it. She took one sip, handed it back to me, and announced: "This tastes like Jordan's breath."

One evening over dinner Sarah announced that "When I get older, I want ballet." When asked whether she wanted to watch ballet or take ballet," she replied, "I want to take over ballet."

Dad to Jordan (age 6): "I think Mommy likes your (Christmas) cards as much as presents." Jordan: "Dad, can I tell you something? I like presents more than cards."

Sarah (age 4) to a then-expectant Mommy: "Does the baby swing on your bones?"

Sarah compliments: "Mommy, your veins are my favorite color." "Grandma: I think you were beautiful before you were a grandma."

Sarah to Jordan: "You can't judge a cookie by the way it looks."

Jordan (age 6), after seeing nude sculptures at the Smithsonian: "Those statues are immodest. Let's get out of this unholy place!"

Sarah, during a late night argument with her mother: "Mommy, you have beautiful ears, but they don't work very well."

Sarah (age 6), describing an airplane trip from Maryland to Utah: "I saw heaven with my own eyes, but I didn't see any angels. They must've been out to lunch or something."

Mary, still learning her numbers at age 3: "I want two of them," she announced this morning about some chocolate covered raisins, "six and five." Daddy: "How old are you, Mary?" Mary: "Twenty-five."

Mary, after getting a whiff of Daddy's cologne: "Daddy, you smell like a recipe."

Sarah, defending Dr. Phil: "Where would all those angry people go without Dr. Phil?"

Mary (still 3) upon feeling Daddy's hairy legs: "It's like Nar-ni-na (Narnia)."

Mary: "Daddy, why does Jesus wear a white dress?"

Mary (4) was acting out a fairy tale with Sarah when she called herself "Rapunza." When Sarah corrected her, she replied, "I know it's Rapunzel, but I call her Rapunza 'cause I speak French."

In response to the question "What gift would you like to give to the Christ child this year?" Mary replied, "A cookie."

Fun stuff. So, if you haven't been keeping your own little "book of quotes" you should. They grow up far too fast.

(Photo courtesy of Ti.Mo on Flickr; available at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/timo/6242424/.)